Don’t disrupt me please

gray angry owlI actually thought the title would be, Disrupt and you die! but that sounded a bit too harsh. I wouldn’t actually kill anyone but I hate it when people disrupt what I’m doing. Especially when I write and someone says something. I get side-tracked and then I have to find the train of thought again. It’s really frustrating. They could at least let me finish the sentence I’m writing. My mother used to interrupt me with housework and then I get upset and yell at her to stop bothering me. I’m not a very nice person when that happens.

I really also hate when I’m watching a TV show online or TV and then someone wants to disrupt me. My rule is when I watching sport on TV or watch my favourite show (example Game of Thrones) you don’t disrupt me no matter what your business is. Nothing is that important that it has to be done that minute. Unless you’re dying or something more serious. Then I would leave my watching instantly. Other times, do not disrupt, please. It’s for your own good.

Don’t get the idea I lose my temper easily because I do not. Some things annoy me but I don’t show those in public. It’s different when I’m with people I know. Then when I get disrupted when I do something, you should understand my frustration. If I write fiction, I’m in my own world, I really don’t like disruption at all. It puts me off course and you don’t want to see that. I will bite your head off no matter who you are. Or maybe not exactly that though. But I won’t be happy about it that’s for sure.

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Imagination comes naturally to me

writing pen

I’ve always had a good imagination. In school, I got good grades in writing. The teachers were really impressed. I used to read kids books which helped develop my imagination. These days I get inspiration from movies and television. And certain male actors 😉 I don’t read books that much anymore. I never seem to have enough of patients to finish a book. But books are not the only way improve your mind.

“You people have no imagination!” –Reepicheep (Narnia: Prince Caspian)

One time I wanted to become a writer. I even studied dramaturgy. I wanted to write movie scripts but I skipped that because it’s not as easy as it looks. It takes a lot of time and effort too. Also, it doesn’t pay that much. I found other ways to use my imagination. Writing fanfiction is one. Having writing as a hobby is less stressful and much more rewarding. Getting likes and comments from the readers gives me more motivation to keep going. I write them in English so I get more readers and it also improves my language skills. I don’t post everything I write online. I get a lot of ideas but not all of them get into stories. I really love using my imagination. It comes naturally to me. I do get writer’s block and then I don’t write. Ideas usually come when I don’t think about writing. Then there’s this one-word Daily Prompt. It only takes one word and my imagination runs wild.

You also need imagination in daily life. If it’s neither cooking or planning your day.  I never let myself get bored. I always find things to do. That’s what is good about having an imagination. I notice things others might not. For example, I noticed the outside door didn’t close properly (I live in a flat). No one seemed to see or care why it didn’t. I used my imagination and I found a reason why. Since it’s slippery outside in the yard there is grit on the ground. There was some grain of sand on the doorstep which prevented the door to close. I wiped it with a brush and door closed like it should. Someone would probably have called a locksmith to fix the door. Sometimes I wonder what people have in their minds. Maybe it’s just a lack of common sense or no imagination at all.

For some imagination come more naturally than to others. Unless you have a disease that prevents you from imagining things in your head. Your imagination gets better with practice. If you don’t use it, it doesn’t get better. Having an imagination keeps your brain active. I wouldn’t know what to do if I didn’t have it. Without imagination, life would be boring. I don’t need drugs or any other substances, I have my imagination.

Agile but lazy

st petersburg traffic
Saint Petersburg traffic 2016

I really have difficulties starting things and when I do, I hardly finish them. I’m such a lazy person. I can be agile on some things. Like thinking. My mind is full of different thoughts. It might look like I’m not doing anything but my brain is working nonstop. That is typical for an introvert. I don’t know about others but the reason I keep things to myself in a conversation is that the person can’t keep up with me. When I talk to my dad and change the subject, he thinks I’m still talking about the same thing even if I’m not. I usually keep a pause between subjects so he doesn’t get confused. I think before I speak so I don’t need to say things straight away. My mouth is faster than the sound so I have to repeat myself to others. I rather not say anything at all because I can’t stand repeating myself.

I prefer writing to talking. If I write my thoughts down by hand, my handwriting is hard to read. Sometimes I can’t even read my own handwriting. Writing on the computer is much more fun which is the reason why I write some of my fanfiction straight on the computer. It also saves a lot of time. When ideas come flooding, there is no stopping. Most of the agile I have is in the mind. I wish I could think less and just take a chance.

It feels like I’m really far behind everyone else in my age group. I’ve thought about things too much instead of doing something. I’m a dreamer and not a doer. I also change my mind a lot. Others have probably changed careers a few times already and I haven’t even started mine. Even people younger than me have had more job experience than I have. It’s no wonder they get the jobs I’ve applied to. When I don’t have enough motivation to do things, I just give up. It’s both laziness and the fear of failure. I could blame others for the problems I have but in the end, it’s really my own attitude I should work on.

I hate doing things in a hurry. I want to take my time. If you do things in a hurry, the result won’t be very good. I missed and forgot things because I did them in a haste. I only get frustrated and nervous. I don’t know why life must be so agile. People want to do things right this minute. Slowness can be agitating, like slow internet connection which drives me crazy sometimes. But everything doesn’t need to be done in a hurry. The world doesn’t end if you don’t do things at certain times. You don’t need to have a 20-year plan. People should live their life the way they see fit. If they want to have a family before 25 let them have it. If people want to stay single rest of their life, it’s their choice. Life would be much easier if we all accepted different ways to live. If my slowness bothers other people, it’s not my concern. I get things done my way and on my own time.