In the shelter of my heart

two love locks
Blog title from ‘Shelter’ by Duran Duran

I get weak but I never faint. Even when I fell off my bike and fractured my elbow some years ago, I didn’t faint. I could have but luckily I didn’t. It would have been a bit embarrassing if I had. I was out in public at the time. There are people who can be so nervous so they faint. I had a classmate who did that when we rehearsed for a performance in 3rd grade. I don’t know if he was nervous though. When you faint it’s because of lack of oxygen in the brain. Sometimes I do feel like I could faint but that’s only because of certain people who I find desirable.

Yesterday when I was at the movies watching Thor: Ragnarok, I could have fainted of all the beauty on the screen. Well, Loki. I laughed so hard too, I could have fainted. Luckily I was sitting down. Actually, everything Tom Hiddleston does makes me want to faint.

Some people faint when they see blood. Even if needles scare me, I never feel weak when I see one. Uncomfortable, yes but that’s about it. Since I have never fainted, I don’t know how it feels. I hope I never experience it either.

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Find yourself in the moment

Canada goldenrod fluff
Post title from ‘All you need is now’ by Duran Duran

When I think about fluff I think about fan fiction with no special plot. My life is a bit like fluff. I have my moments but I don’t have a special goal to achieve. I just live for the moment. Don’t ask me what I’ll do in 5 or 10 years since I don’t even know what I’ll be doing tomorrow. I can have plans what I want to do but it takes time before I even try. I guess it’s because what has happened in my life. Unexpected deaths in the family and my school years. I don’t want to think about the future. I’ve had more downsides than upsides so I’ve learned not to expect too much. Life is a mystery and I don’t want any surprises I haven’t waited for. Sometimes I lose faith in me and other people. It’s easier to live for the moment. Less you expect things, less disappointed you will be.

I don’t compare my life with others. I want to be an individual who doesn’t walk the same path other people do. There was a time I wanted things other people had but now I’m happy the way things are. I could always be happier though. Having a job I really like doing is one thing. I also want to see places without having to think I can’t afford it. Money doesn’t make you happy but it’s always nice to have it. I’m totally fine with what I am and I don’t need anyone’s approval. Like I wrote yesterday in One Line Sunday. I’m grateful for what I have. My life is fluff and I don’t need a special plot to keep going.