I’ve thought so many times about quitting social media, blogging and all that because I have no patience to wait for people to follow me but then when at least someone does, I change my mind.
In this fast-paced world, everyone seems to be in a hurry. Everything needs to be ready this minute and not an hour later. People don’t have any time to incubate. The best things are made slowly. If you want something decent done, there shouldn’t be a rush.
As an introvert, I hate rushing things. I like to do things in my own time without having other people bothering me all the time. You can’t force me to do things because then I won’t do them at all. No one should be that much in a hurry. I like to ponder things in my own head before saying it out loud. The only time when I hate slow things is internet and when I have to wait for a person. Even if I have done something in my own time, I still get them done. There are days when I want to do things quickly but only because I got something far more interesting things to do. Or if it’s about blogging and I don’t really know what to write but still want to write something. I call that rushing it slowly.
I’ve always known entrepreneurship wasn’t for my kind of person. But yet I decided to study it. I think I must be provoking myself into believing I can do it. I just don’t have that business instinct. I can’t even keep my own financial things in check. I don’t even know how to explain that and honestly, I don’t even bother finding out. Anyway, this whole having your own business feels so complicated. It’s like Hebrew to me. Especially this business plan you need to write. So many questions to answer. Why can’t it be simple? I make websites, maybe some graphic design and photography. Bam and ready, get me work. But no, you need something new to offer and target groups, who you sell to. You can’t just say whoever pays me well. I feel like I have nothing to offer. Let’s face it, the principle in web design is the same. You can’t invent something that’s already there. Or maybe I missed something. All this studying is so boring when you don’t get it. Actually, all this talk about it bores me. Maybe I should get a job from someone else but that’s not gonna happen either.
I keep searching for other web designers and it makes me feel blue. A lot of them offer the same things but they’re much more experienced than I am. Some of them make sites cheap which makes me wonder, how do they live? The biggest problems are these do-it-yourself where any amateur can make a website. How can you compete with that? Soon no one needs a pro to do them. Even those who are not web designers make sites for clients. But it’s not about making a site and that’s it. You also need marketing skills which are my weakness. If all that could be done online for free, then things would be much easier. But to get clients to your business, you have to get out of your comfort zone. Sorry, but I can’t do it. I can go to place but then I just want to leave. It feels so awkward to be around strangers. That’s the curse of a shy introvert like myself. Networking is something I wish I could ignore altogether. But I shouldn’t forget there are other introverts who have succeeded anyway. Just look at J.K Rowling and Richard Branson. If they can do it, so could I. Even though making a living out if is more then enough. I don’t want to be rich and famous.
It’s easier said than done. I don’t even know if I have the skills anymore. It’s been a year since I did anything web design related. Making up projects is not my style. I can’t make up things if I don’t have anything to go on. Then I have had so many other things to think about so I haven’t had the motivation to practice anything. I’m ‘On the dark of power in confusion’ and I can’t get much done because of it. Maybe things aren’t that complicated and it’s only in my head. I just have to find the red thread and maybe I find the solution one way or another.