Alone in my solitary

man looking over citySolitary, the power for an introvert. People think when you’re alone, it means you’re lonely. Introverts aren’t more lonely than extroverts. You can have people around you but still feel lonely. Loneliness has nothing to do with introversion. Being around people is stressful. I rather be alone than trying to impress other people. I like being around people but there are a time and place for everything. I live in a city where solitarily is easy to find. You don’t even need a car to get there. The best place is in the woods and the other is a beach in early spring or early autumn. In a solitary place, you can think without distractions by other people or sounds. When you’re alone you can do anything without having to ask for permission. That’s the reason why I like living alone. I’ve had a few room mates when I’ve studied and it was hell. They were nice and all that but living with someone else is not my cup of tea.

For me, it’s very important to be independent. If I didn’t live alone I would have to consider the other person’s needs. More importantly, share the remote control. If I had a room mate they would bring their friends or boyfriends over and I would never be left in peace. Now I can walk around naked if I wanted to. Some people want a room mate so they wouldn’t be lonely and they could share the expenses. But I rather pay more than share a flat with someone else.

They say being alone is not good for your health. But for me it’s the other way around. I get stressed if I’m not alone. I don’t like being in a crowed place. Noisy people are the worst. Why some people have the urge to talk in a loud voice is something I’ve never understood. Have they lost their ability to talk at a lower volume? I’m not surprised the kind of music people listen to so there’s no wonder they can’t even hear their own voices anymore. Some love their voice so much they can’t stop talking. The best time is when there’s no noise at all. That’s better than meditating.

There are people who are afraid they’ll never find anyone so they even use dating services to find their Mr/Mrs Right. What’s so wrong being alone anyway. Some people are meant to be alone. If you feel lonely, get a pet. You don’t need to cook their meals, wash their clothes or any other things you need to do for another person. I like being alone in my solitary. Sometimes it would be nice to have someone but that thought is short-lived. Looking at other people’s lives, my options are so much better.

Tallenna

Tallenna

Tallenna

Unfurl the white flag

unfurl flowerNever give up, they say. But I’m about to unfurl the white flag. Before someone starts to worry, I don’t mean life. Things are not that bad. I have things to live for. When it comes to finding something to fill life with, that’s where my patience is failing. Life can’t be only about eating, sleeping and sit in front of the computer. It’s been summer and I’ve just had a lot of free time on my hands. But I have deserved a break after all that studying I did. The older you get, the more exhausting studying is. Even a short holiday is good for you. I went with my dad to Stockholm last weekend. It was rainy days with some sunshine. I slipped on stairs to a bathroom and hurt my right arm but luckily it’s back to normal. That was enough of excitement for the whole year. It scared the hell out of me when I got hurt. Abroad and a broken arm, no fun. I was so relieved nothing serious happened. I couldn’t bend the arm for a day or two. Being right-handed it would have been a disaster if it had been longer. After an experience like that, you need another break but summer is over soon.

I should get something to do in the Autumn. Soon I’ll forget what I’ve learned in web design. That’s what the white flag is for. I’m lost of hope of finding a job in the open market. They always require skills I don’t have. I could be an intern in some company but I’ve only had those and not a job that pays. When I search for the keyword “Web Designer” online, I get “Web Developer” It’s not really the same thing. I haven’t developed anything. At the moment ‘Web Designer’ is only a title. Maybe I’m modest but I don’t feel like one. Actually, I don’t feel like I’m anything. Last time I designed a website was in school. But I did that for free and it was easier to find a client. Now I’m in the real world and I have to do real work. I don’t know what I’m afraid of if I become self-employed. There’s the money issue and the other is networking. I’m not very good at valuing how much something costs either. Everything seems so complicated. If would be easier to work for someone else. But if there’s no job out there, maybe I just have to do it the hard way.

Tallenna

Tallenna

Tallenna

Tallenna